Forever in our Hearts

On New Years Eve my husband and I raised our glasses to a new and exciting year ahead, acknowledging that we had been truly blessed as we awaited the arrival of our identical twin boys. We were so excited and couldn't wait to hold them in our arms. Little did we know that the kicks and gentle movements we felt that evening were to be the last the boys made.

Devastatingly on New Years Day we found out that we had lost our babies, the midwife could not find their little heartbeats. As we watched the motionless screen it was the most heart wrenching moments of our lives. How is any expectant parent supposed to move forward having faced the most awful news imaginable?

Although the heartache of loosing our precious boys will never leaves us, what followed was the most beautiful experience of our lives. At 12:29 on Thursday 2nd January, after 11 hours of labour, Henry was born quietly into the world shortly followed by his little brother Benjamin. They were completely perfect, my love for them was unconditional. 

We got to spend three quiet days with Henry and Benjamin at the hospital, I will never forget their sleeping faces and holding on to their tiny hands as I made the most of the precious time we had together as a little family. 

There is no easy way to move on from this, grief will always be apart of our lives, we are parents without our boys, a huge gap that will never be filled. But no matter how painful our loss has been it remains the most beautiful of our experiences together. Henry and Benjamin were perfect and captured our hearts forever.

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